1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,400 This programme contains very strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,640 - Do you know what I think? - What? 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,360 I think I could make you really happy. 4 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,760 I'd love you, care for you. 5 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,920 I'd be a brilliant dad to Tyler, you know. 6 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,900 And everything would be amazing... 7 00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,663 34 percent of the time. 8 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,240 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 9 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,520 - A brigadier? - A brigadier. 10 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,640 There was an army colonel for a bit, but he popped his clogs, 11 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,319 then there is a mayor's wife, I drop off for her once a week. 12 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:10,640 Honestly, it is fucking harmless. Medicinal is what it is, 13 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,080 - this lady has got MS here. - You're basically the local doctor then. 14 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,920 I am Doctor Vinnie PHDizzel. 15 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,199 PHD. What the fuck does that stand for, PHD? 16 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,660 I have no idea. 17 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,440 - I think the D is Doctor? - No, I don't think it is. 18 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,640 Wait till you see the smile on her face. Honestly, 19 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,599 watch how much joy I bring to our Linda. Linda! 20 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,320 - It's open. - Y'alright, love? 21 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,440 Do I look alright? These seat sores are the bane of my life, 22 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,119 will you get me cushion and slide it under? 23 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,639 - Yeah, can Sammy help? - Yeah. Hiya, love. 24 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,920 - Hi, Linda. - You the new girlfriend, then? 25 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,680 Shut up, gobshite. For godsake. 26 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,360 Last girlfriend I had had bloody pig tails. 27 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,959 - Kinky. - He's a good one, this one, Sammy. 28 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,319 Keep hold of him. Heart of gold. 29 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,080 Trying to get out of paying for the weed? 30 00:01:57,104 --> 00:01:58,159 - Yeah. - Is that what it is? 31 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:02,280 Come on, on three. On three. One, two, three... (HORN BEEPS) Wah! 32 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,280 All right, one more. One, two, three... (HORN BEEPS) 33 00:02:10,524 --> 00:02:13,159 - Help me. - What the hell have you got there? 34 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,640 - Never mind that, get the legs. - Legs? 35 00:02:16,054 --> 00:02:18,599 - Dylan, can we use upstairs? - What for? 36 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,720 What the fuck does it look like? Advanti... 37 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,480 Honestly, not a clue. 38 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,720 Are you ready for this? Gentlemen, this is the latest high-tech 39 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:33,120 all-singing, all-dancing addition to my newly renovated erotic venue. 40 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,200 - Sex dungeon. - It's not a fucking dungeon, Dylan. 41 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,640 - It's underground, Tommo. - That's what I got now that Erin's got into bed 42 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,360 with McCann. Jesus fucking Christ. Anyway, I thought to myself, 43 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,040 Tommo, onwards and upwards. In with the new and so, on that note, 44 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,640 gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to... 45 00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:50,720 Alison. 46 00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:53,280 - Wow. - She's... 47 00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:58,160 - Fuckable? - (STUTTERING) Freaky? 48 00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:00,839 - Life like. - Well, that's the whole point, innit? 49 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,079 100 percent thermoplastic. Built-in pulsating vagina, 50 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,039 - depth of seven inches. - Is that it, yeah? 51 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,759 Metal skeleton. Real feel, no funny smells. 52 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:13,200 Anal depth, 6.7 inches. Oral depth, five inches. 53 00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:15,479 It's deep, yeah. Deep. 54 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,519 So my questions to you, lads is this, which one of you lucky boys 55 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,399 - is going to test drive her? - You are fucking kidding me. 56 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,839 - I wouldn't fit in that. - JJ. 57 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,880 Like I'm gonna fuck Alison behind Sugar's back. 58 00:03:25,904 --> 00:03:27,256 Cardi. Cardi. Cardi. 59 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,800 - I will pay you. - Why don't you do it? 60 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,400 - She's not my type, is she? - What do you mean, not your type? 61 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,760 - Well, she's not human for a start. - That's the point though, isn't it? 62 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,440 If you must know, I've been having these fucking nightmares. 63 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,360 Freaky fucking dreams. Honestly, they have put me off my game. 64 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,240 I wake up in a blind panic. 65 00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:52,120 - What happens in the dreams? - I'm fast asleep, in my dream, 66 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,640 in my own bed. 67 00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:58,560 Or at least it seems like my own bed, 68 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:03,000 except it feels like satin sheets, whereas I would always plumb 69 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,480 for Egyptian cotton. And I become aware 70 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,839 that I'm being caressed, softly, under the covers 71 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,160 like, not unpleasant, but the sensation starts to bring me round, 72 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,680 and I half open my eyes as I become more aware of my surroundings, 73 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,159 I pull back the covers to remind myself who I'm in bed with... 74 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,000 and it's only then I see... (SCREAMS) 75 00:04:26,507 --> 00:04:27,680 Erin? 76 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,680 Honestly, chaps, I am... 77 00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:33,920 exhausted, a shadow of my former self. Drinking to knock myself out at night. 78 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,880 - Have you tried wanking? - Of course I've fucking tried wanking, Ash. 79 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,759 It's my first point of call in any situation. 80 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,079 But you try getting it up when there is a threat of a fucking 81 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:45,080 - pupil-less Erin looming over you. - Probably just anxiety, 82 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,320 cos you guys fell out. 83 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,800 - Why don't you just make up? - Yeah. 84 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:56,800 Maybe. But I don't need her, do I, Cardi? 85 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:59,759 Cos I have got this lovely lady, so, the question remains, 86 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,260 who is volunteering? 87 00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,060 Did I or did I not say, pulsating vagina? 88 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,480 My dad was never really around, 89 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,759 my mum used to say he was away working. 90 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,120 Turns out he was actually inside, 91 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,800 either that or... off on one of his idiot schemes. 92 00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:23,320 - How old were you when your mum left? - Seven. 93 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,949 - That's so little. - Mmm. 94 00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,960 Christ, I wonder sometimes whether that is half the reason 95 00:05:29,985 --> 00:05:33,000 I am they way I am. I mean, my brain is just... 96 00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:35,900 Christ, it is fucked. I have to take pills, you know. 97 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,980 It's a fucking shame. 98 00:05:41,191 --> 00:05:43,280 - You are bonny in the woods. - Fuck off. 99 00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:44,680 You do, you suit them. 100 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:50,840 I like it. Bet you missed it here when you were inside? 101 00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:55,560 - I did, yeah. - What were you actually in for? 102 00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:58,460 Something to do with a burial? 103 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:04,440 - It's a long story, that one. - I'm not going anywhere. 104 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,040 (SIGHS) 105 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,220 It's better I don't tell you about it, keep you safe. 106 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,439 This fella, Terence McCann, he is just a piece of work. 107 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,220 The guy Erin works for? 108 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:23,060 He's just not a nice guy. He fucking hurts people, you know. 109 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,020 And that is the last thing I want happening to you, so... 110 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:46,879 - Hi, Albie. - Hi. It'll only be for an hour 111 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,160 while I do some work. 112 00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:50,919 - Has he brought a game? - Yeah, got Connect Four. 113 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,119 - I love Connect Four. - I know you do and you're good at it as well. 114 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,840 - Have a good time, yeah. Bye, Albie. - Bye. 115 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,160 (KNOCKING) 116 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,680 - What's going on? - Department of Environment. 117 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,120 This erection you are living in is here illegally. 118 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:24,696 What? 119 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,280 This land has been sold, and your erection... 120 00:07:27,304 --> 00:07:28,576 Come on now, you, 121 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,839 - with your erections... - Has to be removed within seven days. 122 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,560 - Hey, hang on a minute... - It's all in there. 123 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,840 Fuck me, I've been here years, man. 124 00:07:36,864 --> 00:07:38,919 Yeah, illegally. 125 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,360 It's the fucking woods, people don't own the woods. 126 00:07:42,384 --> 00:07:43,600 They do now. 127 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,800 - Seven days. - Alright. 128 00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:49,220 Shit. 129 00:07:53,858 --> 00:07:55,009 Jimbo? 130 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:59,039 Oh! Fuck are you two old cunts doing? 131 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,520 What does it like? 132 00:08:00,544 --> 00:08:02,544 It looks like you are fondling up a ginger horse. 133 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,160 There you are, then. We are entering the East Lancs show 134 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,200 and this time we're gonna fucking win. 135 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,800 We've set aside our previous differences to come together 136 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,360 in a common cause. 137 00:08:13,384 --> 00:08:16,575 It's like when Batman and The Joker worked together 138 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,600 - to defeat Owlman. - Owlman, was it, it was fucking Penguin. 139 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,440 - Owlman. - Penguin. 140 00:08:22,464 --> 00:08:23,896 - Owlman. - Penguin. 141 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:28,080 Oi! For fuck's sake. I need help. 142 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,800 The fucking council have sold the land on. They are gonna kick me out 143 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,520 my fucking shack. I have got seven days lads. 144 00:08:34,544 --> 00:08:35,416 They can't do that. 145 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,920 - Well, apparently, they can. - That's right on the edge of my farm, 146 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,880 that's classic woodland. There's fucking rare bluebells down there, 147 00:08:42,904 --> 00:08:42,911 Listen, 148 00:08:42,935 --> 00:08:46,055 - little fucking dormice and chiff chaffs. - That's right, 149 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,080 I saw a willow warbler down there just last week. 150 00:08:48,105 --> 00:08:52,627 Listen, fuck, it's my home. I can't live in a fucking house. 151 00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:55,880 What the fuck am I gonna do? Help me out, for fuck sake. 152 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,880 Hey, what about your secret club. You're always bragging 153 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:03,520 - that you know MPs and council - members. - Alright, well what's this 154 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,975 - secret club, then, Shirley? - It's a secret. 155 00:09:05,999 --> 00:09:07,480 He's a mason. 156 00:09:09,998 --> 00:09:11,000 Prove it. 157 00:09:11,024 --> 00:09:13,399 Well, then, fuck, Shirley, have a word for me, man. 158 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,810 No can do, sorry. We have very strict rules against that kind of thing. 159 00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:17,440 Fuck. 160 00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:19,399 In fact forget I was ever here, 161 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,520 forget this conversation ever took place. 162 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:27,280 Oi, Paslowski... your secret friends are cunts. 163 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,439 - Your secret friends are cunts! - I haven't got any secret friends. 164 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,660 But if you did, they'd be cunts! 165 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,439 Three illegal operations. 166 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,680 Weed grow, Rat and Cutter, car garage, 167 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,200 we hit them all at the same time. 168 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,359 We want to catch them in the act so the timing is vital. Samantha. 169 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,240 I'm working on it. I'd say I'm pretty close 170 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:55,040 - to being able to provide a hit time. - We're gonna take these scroats down. 171 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,240 And when we've got them, 172 00:09:58,248 --> 00:10:01,519 we'll make them squeal about that bastard McCann. 173 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,200 (BANGING) Erin! Erin! 174 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,840 Albie? Where's Tyler? 175 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,700 He's gone. I've lost him. He just disappeared. 176 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,580 Tyler? 177 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,380 - Tyler! - Have you seen him? 178 00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:38,535 No, it's McCann, Vinnie, I know it is. 179 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,159 - All because of that 30 fucking grand. - Albie, listen to me, 180 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,440 - did he get in a car with any men? - He can't remember. 181 00:10:43,464 --> 00:10:44,456 I can't remember. 182 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,680 It's alright. It's alright. Erm, why was he at the fucking shops anyway? 183 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,320 He went to get Tyler some sweets, I didn't tell him he couldn't. 184 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,919 - I'm sorry. - No. No. No, sweetheart. It's not your fault. 185 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,720 It's alright. 186 00:10:53,744 --> 00:10:55,880 I'm really worried, Vin. I'll have to call the police. 187 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,480 - What if they hurt him? - Oi, listen, calm down a bit. 188 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,520 I'm gonna get him back. I'll get him back today, 189 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,400 I promise you. Everything is gonna be alright. I promise, sweetheart. 190 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,600 (PHONE RINGING) Shit, it's Sugar. Shug! 191 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,840 - (SIGHS) He's at home. He's at home. - Thank fuck for that. Christ. 192 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:19,800 They said I had to go because you needed me home. 193 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,199 They used your name so I thought they knew you. 194 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,760 Did they say anything? 195 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:26,780 No. They just asked me if I knew my Uncle Terence. 196 00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:31,320 Alright, well you are home now so it doesn't matter but listen to me. 197 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,495 Don't ever get in a strange car 198 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:41,279 with people you don't know ever again. Right? Not unless Mummy says. 199 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,060 - Yeah. - OK. You are a good lad. 200 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,260 Eat your biscuits. 201 00:11:49,345 --> 00:11:53,540 MCCANN (VOICEMAIL): You have reached Terence McCann. Please leave a message after the beep. 202 00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:04,600 I don't know about this, Vin. Kidnapping's not really our thing, is it? 203 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,159 We're sending a message, Ashley. I wouldn't mind 204 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,759 but they bloody know me these two. 205 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,799 (SINGING) ♪ Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean... ♪ 206 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,040 (SIGHS) That's enough. 207 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:18,600 Girls. Oi. Oi. Oi. You don't even know what a narwhal is, do you? 208 00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:19,880 What is a narwhal? 209 00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:22,399 It's a whale with a horn. It's for breaking up ice. 210 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,440 - Is it? - Where's the fat one? 211 00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:27,039 Now, girls, that's not nice, is it. 212 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:31,399 No, it's not, so it's not. We'll be drinking a pint of Guinness 213 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,119 with me leprechaun. (GIRLS LAUGH) 214 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,540 ♪ Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean... 215 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:40,480 - Just make the call, will you? - Oi, that is enough. 216 00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:43,280 (PHONE RINGING) 217 00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,680 (PHONE PINGS) 218 00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:59,679 Right, now before you start going out of your fucking mind, 219 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,479 they're fine. In fact, they are extremely annoying 220 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,599 and it is me that is fucking traumatised. 221 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,759 Take them... Take them fucking home now. 222 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,399 Ah, now you see, you sound cross there. 223 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,679 I was pretty fucking furious too when you had a word with my child. 224 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:17,639 Your child? You and Erin? Jesus Christ, yes, me and Erin. 225 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,620 We had a one-night stand thing. I am warning you, man, 226 00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:25,175 threaten me as much as you want, but involve my kid with summat like this again 227 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,200 - I will fucking murder you. - Erin owes me 30 grand. 228 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,280 - Right and you will get it. - When? 229 00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:31,719 Fucking soon. 230 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,340 You've got until the end of the fucking week. Put them on the phone. 231 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:36,880 No. 232 00:13:36,904 --> 00:13:38,839 You fucking lay a hand on those girls, and I swear... 233 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,120 Listen to you, I am not a fucking monster like you, I wouldn't hurt a child, 234 00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:44,079 I am proving a fucking point. 235 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:48,399 Proving a fucking point? You're a dead cunt. You were nearly dead 236 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,159 before this stunt, but now you are fucking dead. 237 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,839 And that bitch that bore your child is fucking dead. 238 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,380 And that boy I will leave a fucking orphan! Now take them home! 239 00:14:00,779 --> 00:14:02,320 - How did it go? - Not great. 240 00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:04,480 - Right. - Let's drop them off. 241 00:14:10,072 --> 00:14:13,780 Vinnie was telling me all about why he went to prison. Crazy. 242 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,580 Yeah. 243 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:21,820 Were you there... when Tillerton had his accident? 244 00:14:21,845 --> 00:14:26,519 Er... yeah. Yeah. But you know, that's all behind us now. 245 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,160 Vinnie's done his time, it's all forgotten. 246 00:14:29,289 --> 00:14:33,039 Must be dead scary though, Erin still working with McCann? 247 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,560 And you two didn't...? Fuck. 248 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:38,400 Shit, it's broken. 249 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,980 Sorry, hi, you OK? 250 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,640 (BELL DINGS) 251 00:14:55,411 --> 00:14:57,319 Oh, it's you. What do you want? 252 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,999 What the fuck is that in your hand? 253 00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,880 An ear. 254 00:14:59,904 --> 00:15:03,039 Why would you bring and ear to the front of house? 255 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,999 I mean, this is your establishment, man. I could have been 256 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,175 a grieving family member. You know... lost my husband or summat. 257 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,719 I walk in here and there is a one-eyed fucking pirate 258 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,199 - with a severed ear in his hand. - It's not severed, in fact, the reason 259 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,360 I'm holding it is cos of the way he died. 260 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,039 The man had his entire head 261 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,279 squashed under the wheel of an articulated lorry. 262 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,480 Caved like a melon. But staggeringly, 263 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,639 - the ear came out unscathed. - That is staggering. 264 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,759 Which is why it's going in my trophy cabinet. 265 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,613 - What are you on about, trophy cabinet? - Body parts that have 266 00:15:33,638 --> 00:15:38,136 fascinating stories connected to their deaths. Like a 3-D diary kind of thing. 267 00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:41,279 For fuck... Shut up. You've got the body parts 268 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:45,719 - of people's loved ones in a cabinet? - The man's head was squashed 269 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,799 to mush under a fucking truck, do you really think his family 270 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,380 are gonna care whether I keep his fucking ear in formaldehyde? 271 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:56,480 - Hmm. Do you wanna see? - Yes. Come on, son. 272 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,999 - What did you come here for anyway? - I need to get your Stephen to bell me, 273 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,880 - it's about his dad. - McCann, why? 274 00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:05,159 I need him to organise some sort of a truce. 275 00:16:05,184 --> 00:16:06,919 With his dad, unlikely. 276 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,359 - He thinks he's an effeminate artist. - Yeah. 277 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,320 Well, can you get him to bell me? 278 00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:16,819 - Behold, the trophy cellar. - What the fuck? 279 00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,199 - What do you think? - What do you mean, "what do I think"? 280 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,759 I think you are a fucking lunatic, is what I think. 281 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,040 Look at the state of this shit. 282 00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:27,160 - What the fuck are these here? - Brain. 283 00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:29,820 Ah, fuck me. A foot. 284 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,239 What is with the tongue? What is that all about? 285 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,879 Wife cut it out after she caught her husband giving cunnilingus 286 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,359 - to the baby sitter. He bled to death. - This is fucked. 287 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,520 - Beautiful. - Get it away. It's gonna look well there. 288 00:16:40,779 --> 00:16:42,713 Are them bollocks there? What are they saying? 289 00:16:42,738 --> 00:16:43,480 That's a funny story. 290 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:46,159 - There was this barbed wire fence... - You know, don't. Fuck me. 291 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,559 That's the end of that story. Start and the end, barbed wire fence. 292 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,100 Big fucking slit down the centre of it. Jesus wept. 293 00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:58,119 - What's under that? - Oh, that's nothing, empty, forget about it. 294 00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,740 - Come on. - Alright. 295 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,200 (SCREAMING) 296 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,559 Ah! No. No. 297 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,160 I told you not to look. 298 00:17:09,184 --> 00:17:11,479 You were meant to fucking cremate that dude. 299 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,879 That is not... That is evidence. No one's gonna find it. 300 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,319 Besides, it's a great story. Head clean off, sewn on to another body. 301 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,240 It's my second favourite. 302 00:17:18,264 --> 00:17:20,439 Second favourite. That's nothing but trouble. 303 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,600 - You'll fucking burn it. - Say I don't? 304 00:17:24,199 --> 00:17:27,119 Alright, alright, for fuck's sake. I am heartbroken. 305 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:30,560 - I want you to know that. - Fuck! Burn it! 306 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,160 Burn it. 307 00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:44,560 Oi, get Stephen to bell me. 308 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,500 (EXHALES) Sammy, I know you're working, but I just... 309 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,040 I dunno, I just... 310 00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,079 I dunno, actually. 311 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,999 I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. 312 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,039 I am sorry it's a shit message. Already. 313 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:09,159 Just... if you want, give us a bell tomorrow or summat. 314 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,460 We can try and link up. Erm, 315 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,799 erm, fuck. Bye. 316 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,000 Bye, then. You fucking turd. 317 00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:20,714 Shit. 318 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,360 (SIGHS) 319 00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:39,461 Mmm. (RUSTLING) 320 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,580 Hello? 321 00:19:08,765 --> 00:19:09,900 Shit. 322 00:19:17,805 --> 00:19:20,159 - Oh, you fucker! - Alright, Vin. 323 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,805 You great dickhead, what the fuck are you doing in there? 324 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:25,560 (CLEARS THROAT) 325 00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:27,660 I need a bit of company, mate. 326 00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:32,005 It's my head, these fucking dreams, I can't be on me own. 327 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,520 - Right, then fucking come on, then. - Cheers, mate. 328 00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:40,280 Fucking hell, dude, what's that? 329 00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:44,359 She is jaundice yellow. She looks startled. 330 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,439 I am not fucking test driving that. 331 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,279 Just a quickie, fanny, funbags. 332 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,410 She was reduced for a quick sale, so I'm worried there might be 333 00:19:51,411 --> 00:19:53,999 - hidden damage. - Fuck me. Hidden damage? 334 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,079 Baggy arse or summat, I don't know. 335 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,479 Christ, and what are you gonna be doing while I am humping the life 336 00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,904 - out of this? - I'll go for a walk, won't I? 337 00:19:59,905 --> 00:20:01,359 - Twiddle about. - Fuck that... 338 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,420 - dude, I am not shagging that thing. - J-esus fucking Christ, Vincent, 339 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,740 it's a free shag and I can't even fucking give it away. 340 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:15,000 I suppose you are having your needs attended to by the scrumptious Samantha? 341 00:20:16,138 --> 00:20:18,840 Well, not really. 342 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,340 Hmm? 343 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,620 Have you, err...? 344 00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:24,480 (WHISTLES) 345 00:20:24,504 --> 00:20:26,504 - Not exactly, no. - Not exactly? 346 00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,919 - Well, not... fuck me, not at all. - Has she sucked you off? 347 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,340 Dude, I am not supposed to... tell you shit like that. 348 00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:35,220 Not supposed to. Hey, hey, hey, look who you are talking to, mate, 349 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,060 I am a broken man. 350 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:40,519 This year I've had fucking hell, dignity robbed, 351 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:44,239 livelihood stripped away from me. The least you can do, right, 352 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,231 is enlighten your mate with the details of your mucky mucky love life. Now then... 353 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,919 have you had a go on the mammaries? 354 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,120 - Yes. - Right. Naked or through clothes? 355 00:20:53,144 --> 00:20:54,356 Through clothes. 356 00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:56,879 - What about the man's pubis? - Uh-uh. 357 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,279 - Not yet. - Not even through clothes? 358 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,279 - Not even a dry hump? - No, I haven't dry humped. 359 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,500 We've kissed. We have had a smooch up, but that is about it. 360 00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:09,039 It's just about connection for now, you know. 361 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,999 She likes me. And I like her. 362 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,280 I tell her I am a bi-polar fuck up, she listens and tells me I am not. 363 00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,920 I think I feel something for her. (CHUCKLES) 364 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:21,000 Fair enough. 365 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,439 Now, then, what's your policy on spooning? 366 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,118 I can't have your willy near my bum. 367 00:21:26,142 --> 00:21:28,880 - I won't sleep. - Fine, you spoon me. 368 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:33,000 Next question, may I sleep in the altogether? 369 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:36,845 Dude, no. That is a firm no. 370 00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:41,119 Jesus fucking Christ, when did you get to be such a fucking prude? 371 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,740 When I have to sleep with my midget mate naked. 372 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,000 - I tell you what... - What? 373 00:21:47,024 --> 00:21:48,733 It's actually quite cosy, this place, ain't it? 374 00:21:48,758 --> 00:21:50,119 - Yeah. - I don't mind telling you. 375 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,479 I used to think it was a bit of a shithole. 376 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:57,893 Well, if that removal order comes through 377 00:21:58,205 --> 00:22:00,399 I will be out on my fucking ear, won't I? 378 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,639 Oh, aye. Do you want any help with that? 379 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,119 I used to spank a bloke that works in the town hall. 380 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,960 Actually, no, come to think about it, he works in sanitation. 381 00:22:10,879 --> 00:22:13,580 Do you know that fucking Shirley's a mason. 382 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,679 Yeah. Jim told me about it. 383 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,719 Knows all these people on the fucking council. 384 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,319 Said, will you give us a hand? Told me to fuck myself. Blonde twat! 385 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,340 - Shirley. - Yeah. 386 00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:29,919 Because I seem to recall that Shirley's a sleepwalker, in't he? 387 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,399 - Hmm. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 388 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,700 Cos the thing about sleepwalkers, Vincent, is... 389 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,919 people get up to all sorts in their sleep, don't they? 390 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,500 (CHUCKLES) 391 00:23:27,987 --> 00:23:29,420 Shit. 392 00:23:46,948 --> 00:23:48,520 Right, go on. 393 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:53,199 Now, then, a few lewd poses, right, 394 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,600 enough for your standard blackmail job. 395 00:24:00,020 --> 00:24:01,679 There we go. Get snapping. 396 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,580 - Fuck. - Right, he's going for it. 397 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:07,700 Jesus, he's rampant. 398 00:24:08,420 --> 00:24:10,159 We shouldn't be watching this, lads. 399 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,940 Fuck, dude. 400 00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:15,039 Fucking hell, he's not actually. 401 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,660 - Oh, poor Alison. - Poor me, more like, 402 00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:20,380 I've gotta clean her out. 403 00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:22,599 Jesus Christ, I hope he don't rip her. 404 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,399 Oh, fucking hell! Fuck, dude. 405 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,980 (SHIRLEY MOANING) 406 00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:30,980 How do you make it do that? 407 00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:36,860 Good Lord, nobody should have to go through that. Poor Alison. 408 00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:43,400 Alright, Dyldo? What are you doing here? 409 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:47,500 I need to talk to you, man. Alone. 410 00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:53,208 - What the fuck is going on? - Dude, I don't know how to tell you this. 411 00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:56,159 Dude, honestly, you are making me fucking nervous. 412 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,200 - What's going on, Dyl? - Erm... 413 00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:03,839 - It's Samantha. - What about her? 414 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,359 I don't know who she is. I don't know what she is, 415 00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:10,639 - but you can't fucking trust her. - What are you talking about? 416 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,100 She started asking loads of questions behind the bar, 417 00:25:14,140 --> 00:25:17,740 and I were fucking... I were careful, after what happened with Sara, 418 00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:20,940 I kept my gob shut, but it just bothered me, 419 00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:26,360 and then I accidentally knocked her bag over and found this... 420 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:32,180 It's not a lighter, it's a fuck... it's a microphone. 421 00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:36,439 (RECORDING PLAYS ON LAPTOP) SAM: How old were you when your mam left? 422 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,660 - Seven. - So little. 423 00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:44,279 Christ, I wonder sometimes whether that is half the reason I am the way 424 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,989 I am. I mean, my brain is just... Christ, it's fucked. 425 00:25:47,990 --> 00:25:49,700 I have to take pills, you know. 426 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,780 Fucking shame. 427 00:25:53,140 --> 00:25:54,740 You are bonny in the woods. 428 00:25:57,540 --> 00:25:59,060 I like it. 429 00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:02,140 I bet you miss...(RECORDING STOPS) 430 00:26:05,260 --> 00:26:06,900 (SIGHS) 431 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,140 - Who is she? - I dunno, man. 432 00:26:12,969 --> 00:26:17,227 She could be a cop, maybe? An investigator? 433 00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,980 - I fucked up. - How could you know, man. 434 00:26:20,020 --> 00:26:22,380 None of us knew. She seems fantastic. 435 00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:24,640 Dyl, I don't know what I fucking said to her. 436 00:26:24,664 --> 00:26:25,716 I mean, you know. 437 00:26:25,740 --> 00:26:29,680 You were careful, but they know about the weed grow. 438 00:26:33,060 --> 00:26:36,980 - I trusted her. - I know, dude. I'm sorry, man. 439 00:26:37,020 --> 00:26:40,540 She fucking lied. She told me things about her fucking... 440 00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:43,740 ...past, her family and... 441 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,660 She kissed me. 442 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,220 I liked her. 443 00:26:59,580 --> 00:27:01,420 I really liked her. 444 00:27:10,710 --> 00:27:13,510 I am never trusting an outsider again. 445 00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:19,920 I think we've got a problem. 446 00:27:26,694 --> 00:27:28,460 What do you want? 447 00:27:30,060 --> 00:27:34,055 Want to know if you'll reconsider speaking to your mason pals 448 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,932 - to help Vinnie's shack. - No. 449 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,335 I won't, and there's nothing you can say or do 450 00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:42,760 that will make me change my mind. 451 00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:46,700 Oh, really? (SHIRLEY MOANING ON PHONE) 452 00:27:50,740 --> 00:27:52,660 - Hi. JJ. - Hey. 453 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,120 Dylan, how's it going? 454 00:27:55,144 --> 00:27:57,280 - Good, yeah, how are you? - Yeah, great, thanks. 455 00:27:57,460 --> 00:28:00,260 Sandra's asked us to bring down the new optics from the function room, 456 00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:02,660 - can you come give me a hand? - Yeah, no worries. 457 00:28:08,694 --> 00:28:10,774 Get up to anything last night after you left here? 458 00:28:10,799 --> 00:28:14,570 Nah, just stayed at home, quiet one. How about you? 459 00:28:14,595 --> 00:28:18,275 Yeah, same, I was wrecked. It's hard work, this place. 460 00:28:20,460 --> 00:28:23,760 Hello.(DOOR LOCKS) 461 00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:26,100 What are you up to? 462 00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:34,260 - What's going on? - Who the fuck are you? 463 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:37,260 - What? - Who are you working for? 464 00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,780 Who do I work for? I work here. 465 00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:43,480 Do you think I am a cunt? 466 00:28:48,874 --> 00:28:51,069 It's a funny little thing, that. 467 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,720 There you go. 468 00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,220 Come on. 469 00:28:57,700 --> 00:28:59,860 So why have you been doing that, then? 470 00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:02,700 Why have you been recording all our chats? 471 00:29:02,740 --> 00:29:06,020 Because I like to remember them, I like to have nice moments. 472 00:29:06,060 --> 00:29:07,340 Look at me. 473 00:29:08,020 --> 00:29:11,420 I really fucking fell for you. Do you know that? 474 00:29:12,020 --> 00:29:15,540 I let you in. And I am really lonely. 475 00:29:16,620 --> 00:29:19,340 You knew, didn't you? 476 00:29:19,540 --> 00:29:21,340 Vin, can we speak alone? 477 00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:22,620 No. 478 00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:31,740 (SIGHS) Look at these people with me now. 479 00:29:32,540 --> 00:29:35,917 They are all I have ever known. 480 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,940 I don't have anybody else, they are my entire family. 481 00:29:38,980 --> 00:29:42,940 And if you fucked me over, fucking look at them. 482 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,180 You have fucked them over too, haven't you? 483 00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:48,140 Are you police? 484 00:29:49,180 --> 00:29:50,380 Yeah. 485 00:29:51,740 --> 00:29:53,820 Is it Slater? 486 00:29:54,780 --> 00:29:56,160 What have you told him? 487 00:29:57,220 --> 00:30:00,580 - Fucking, what have you - told him? - Everything. 488 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:03,160 - Right. - Listen... 489 00:30:04,611 --> 00:30:07,479 I started to like you, I did, I swear, it... 490 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,166 it started as a job but then I got feelings and... 491 00:30:10,191 --> 00:30:11,880 - She's lying. - I'm not. 492 00:30:11,904 --> 00:30:14,199 Say anything to get out of this room now, won't you? 493 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,400 Vinnie, I swear... 494 00:30:17,424 --> 00:30:19,920 I told you about my mum, didn't I? 495 00:30:22,060 --> 00:30:23,660 And my dad. 496 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,427 Look, Slater wants you guys, but he wants McCann, too. 497 00:30:30,452 --> 00:30:32,055 So if you let me, I can help you. 498 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,679 - We can't trust you. - Dylan, please, 499 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,040 they're planning a raid, 500 00:30:35,064 --> 00:30:37,720 they've done surveillance but they need me to tell them the right time. 501 00:30:37,745 --> 00:30:41,025 We let her now and she's gonna go squealing straight to the cops. 502 00:30:41,060 --> 00:30:44,060 I won't, Vin, I swear. 503 00:30:44,100 --> 00:30:45,820 Trust me. 504 00:30:50,430 --> 00:30:53,110 Why the fuck, after all this, 505 00:30:54,143 --> 00:30:56,340 why would you help us, eh? 506 00:30:57,300 --> 00:30:59,580 - Why would you? - Because... 507 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,100 ..you've got a good heart. 508 00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:23,140 (CLAMOURING) 509 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:29,860 (SIRENS BLARE, TYRES SCREECH) 510 00:32:04,780 --> 00:32:10,140 All units standby unless active or urgent. Entry team forward. 511 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,900 POLICE: Armed police, stand still and show me your hands. 512 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:21,100 Armed police! 513 00:32:23,460 --> 00:32:26,020 Police. (CLAMOURING) 514 00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:28,740 Morning, lads. 515 00:32:29,460 --> 00:32:31,560 Armed police. 516 00:32:43,580 --> 00:32:44,560 What the fuck? 517 00:32:44,584 --> 00:32:47,560 POLICE (ON RADIO): Premise clear. No arrests made. 518 00:32:47,660 --> 00:32:50,580 Fuck! Fuck's sake! 519 00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:53,919 - Armed police, do not move! - Can I come in for a minute? 520 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,600 I am unarmed, I am unarmed. You alright? 521 00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:01,159 I have to be honest, you have, 522 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,120 I mean, Jesus, Carl, you have fucked me... Can I sit down? 523 00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:05,735 Can I sit down? 524 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:10,466 Oh, God. Carl, I have got to hand it to you, man, you have... 525 00:33:11,154 --> 00:33:13,015 royally fucked me over. 526 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,182 I am fucking heartbroken with the Sam thing. I had no idea, man. 527 00:33:16,808 --> 00:33:20,460 - Seems like you did. - Well, yeah, but fuck me, only just, dude. 528 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:24,393 Christ lads, you were really bloody close. Really close. 529 00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,296 Yeah. 530 00:33:26,415 --> 00:33:28,935 But anyway you have done really well, I think you've... 531 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,390 fucked me right over and I just don't want you 532 00:33:31,415 --> 00:33:33,700 hanging on my back for the rest of my life so... fair cop. 533 00:33:34,153 --> 00:33:35,880 - Alright, what's going on? - Nothing. 534 00:33:35,904 --> 00:33:37,904 Crap. Cuff him. 535 00:33:45,195 --> 00:33:47,355 Now, back in the van. 536 00:33:47,380 --> 00:33:49,878 - Leave him here. - But sir... 537 00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:53,160 Leave him and go. I'll be fine. 538 00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:58,940 Oh, be my fucking guest, Vin, have a seat. 539 00:34:05,192 --> 00:34:07,360 We've known each other a long time, haven't we, Vinnie? 540 00:34:07,384 --> 00:34:08,720 Since school. 541 00:34:08,916 --> 00:34:12,920 So I'm quietly confident that... 542 00:34:13,171 --> 00:34:15,685 this behaviour is wildly out of character. 543 00:34:16,131 --> 00:34:19,240 Vincent O'Neill doesn't just give himself up and then... 544 00:34:19,265 --> 00:34:21,160 happily walk back to prison, does he? 545 00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,760 Dude, I just don't think I'll get that long inside. 546 00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:26,940 In all truth, Carl, I won't, and I have fucking been there before 547 00:34:26,980 --> 00:34:28,959 and it is just not that bad so it makes no difference, 548 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:32,540 - lock me up and the rest, why not? - What's going on, Vin? 549 00:34:32,958 --> 00:34:37,279 Carl, mate, you're on a fucking revenge mission. I get it. 550 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,575 You don't like me. You know I was a fucking horrible cunt to you 551 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,519 in school, I called you a dog bummer and it stuck. 552 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:44,980 It can't have helped. 553 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:48,655 I always had a posse of mates and you struggled a bit, 554 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,400 you were always on your own. 555 00:34:50,814 --> 00:34:54,060 But you couldn't possibly hurt me more than me. 556 00:34:55,040 --> 00:35:01,200 Carl, listen to me. With no agenda, I am a fucking nobody. 557 00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:05,400 Pathetic, mentally ill dickhead criminal 558 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,680 for the arse end of nowhere. 559 00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:10,060 If you want people talking your name 560 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,760 you best land yourself a much bigger fish. 561 00:35:12,784 --> 00:35:14,376 Oh, I intend to. 562 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,080 Right. Well... 563 00:35:17,580 --> 00:35:20,800 it just so happens I could help you out with that. 564 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,940 But I'm gonna want some guarantees. 565 00:35:23,620 --> 00:35:25,760 I don't do deals, Vin. 566 00:35:25,784 --> 00:35:28,640 Sound enough, forget the whole thing. No worries. 567 00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,160 You stay here. 568 00:36:08,623 --> 00:36:11,560 Come on. I managed to get hold of 5K. 569 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,359 I've borrowed two grand from the Crow's Nest. 570 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,679 And I've put in the money I was gonna use to restart my sex dungeon. 571 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,680 - Thanks, Tommo. - Pleasure. Just... stay out of my dreams. 572 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:24,280 Well, we're still way too short. Even with the club money 573 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,540 - that's only 19k. - Shit. 574 00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:31,200 I'll lend you the rest. 575 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:36,700 I've got it. I'll get it back. It's fine. 576 00:36:40,540 --> 00:36:44,300 Dad, before you say anything, Erin wants a chance to apologise. 577 00:36:45,700 --> 00:36:49,239 - How do you know her? - Through business. 578 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,400 She's a good person, and she has your money. 579 00:36:52,660 --> 00:36:57,720 Mister McCann, I am really, really, sorry. 580 00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,140 I just want to put things right. 581 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,740 Dad, can we come in? 582 00:37:24,859 --> 00:37:27,980 TWINS: You're cheating. You can't catch me. 583 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,140 I will catch you. I've got you already. 584 00:37:34,940 --> 00:37:37,400 - Sorry, can I just go to the loo? - No. 585 00:37:40,723 --> 00:37:43,100 Course you can use the fucking loo. 586 00:37:56,518 --> 00:37:59,720 - You're cheating. - No, I am not. Yes, you are. 587 00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:03,919 You are a cheater. 588 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,720 - Hi, girls. - BOTH: Hi, Stevie. 589 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,079 Hey, why don't we go inside cos it is starting to rain? 590 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,520 - Ouch. Can we go inside, please? - Fight with us. 591 00:38:12,667 --> 00:38:14,080 Pussy. 592 00:38:14,192 --> 00:38:15,960 Later, I will fight with you later. Come on. 593 00:38:15,984 --> 00:38:17,256 - No! - No! 594 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,836 - Yes. - No, idiot. 595 00:38:18,861 --> 00:38:20,536 - You're an idiot. - You're an idiot. 596 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:22,480 And you're not coming in our room. 597 00:38:22,504 --> 00:38:24,439 I don't wanna get in your stupid room anyway. 598 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,440 Cos it smells. 599 00:38:25,464 --> 00:38:28,039 - Your room smells. - I don't care cos I am gonna go in 600 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,919 and I'm gonna mess up all your stuff. I am. 601 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,079 - No, you're not. - Yeah, I am. 602 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,980 I am coming. I am coming. 603 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,220 You upset me, Erin. 604 00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:46,260 I don't like rejection. 605 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,760 You had that prick O'Neill inside you. 606 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,980 Had his baby, and you have the fucking temerity to reject me. 607 00:38:54,340 --> 00:38:57,460 I appreciate the money back, but you're done. 608 00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:00,360 - Terence... - You're done. 609 00:39:00,655 --> 00:39:02,620 When you least fucking expect it, 610 00:39:02,825 --> 00:39:05,880 you and that arsehole O'Neill will get what's coming to you. 611 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,740 - Mister McCann... - Shh. 612 00:39:26,524 --> 00:39:28,524 (TWINS ARGUING) 613 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,520 (GROANS, SIGHS) 614 00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,940 (URINE TRICKLING) 615 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,580 (SIGHS) 616 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,040 - Dad! - Fuck's sake... (TOILET FLUSHES) 617 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,840 (TWINS ARGUING) 618 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,280 Stop... 619 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,280 (WHISPERS) That way, that way, go! 620 00:40:46,781 --> 00:40:50,660 - Fuck's sake. - You always take their side. 621 00:40:58,340 --> 00:41:01,120 - All good? - Yeah. 622 00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,680 Mission accomplished. (ENGINE STARTS) 623 00:41:10,891 --> 00:41:13,080 Nice one, Stevie. 624 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,500 Thank God for that. 625 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,320 - I'm scared. - Hey, don't be. Listen to me. 626 00:41:20,383 --> 00:41:23,743 If that works out, we'll be free of him, hun. 627 00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:25,780 Will we though? 628 00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:30,919 Erm... I'm sorry about Samantha. 629 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,794 It's alright. You know, all the things I did with her, 630 00:41:35,540 --> 00:41:38,040 I'd show her the woods, and where I used to play 631 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,599 when I was little, and the whole bloody time, 632 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,140 all I could think was I wished it was you. 633 00:41:47,540 --> 00:41:51,020 - Vin... - I know. I know. I know. It's fine. 634 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,140 I always think about what you whispered. 635 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:56,920 I don't know. 636 00:41:58,375 --> 00:42:01,400 I don't know anything anymore. (SIGHS) 637 00:42:01,425 --> 00:42:03,700 I just want to do what's best for Tyler. 638 00:42:05,140 --> 00:42:07,820 I have to do what's best for our boy. 639 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,340 Come here. 640 00:42:16,648 --> 00:42:19,280 (DOOR SMASHES) (GIRLS SCREAMING) 641 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:26,260 POLICE: Show me your hands now! Turn around! 642 00:42:42,515 --> 00:42:44,380 Well, well, well. 643 00:42:45,340 --> 00:42:47,340 What on Earth's this doing here? 644 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:57,160 (VEHICLE APPROACHING) 645 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,480 Fuck. 646 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,520 Oi! Oi! Oi! Fuck off, dude. Get gone. 647 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:17,400 Sorry, lads, time's up. This erection has to come down. 648 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,940 (ALL YELLING) Oi! Stop it! 649 00:44:21,886 --> 00:44:23,479 No, don't! 650 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,320 - That's enough, you Irish cunts. - What's all this? 651 00:44:27,678 --> 00:44:30,239 - What does it look like? - Looks like two old twats 652 00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:31,840 running through a wood holding paper. 653 00:44:31,864 --> 00:44:33,656 Fuck are you asking for then? 654 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:38,040 Cease and desist, signed by the deputy head of planning 655 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,520 - at the council, Nigel Perrywater. - You what? 656 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,640 And I have written authorisation that this erection 657 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,680 can stay exactly where it is. 658 00:44:48,020 --> 00:44:51,040 Alright. Early breakfast, boys. 659 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,240 (CHEERING) 660 00:44:57,165 --> 00:44:59,840 - Celebration? - Let's go the pub. 661 00:45:00,686 --> 00:45:04,960 - Jim's buying. - Erin, Erin, come down to the pub 662 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,921 and make sure you bring bloody Sugar with you. 663 00:45:06,945 --> 00:45:08,576 Shirley saved the shack. 664 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,680 Shirley and Jim. Christ, my God, 665 00:45:13,420 --> 00:45:15,400 it's a really good day, so... 666 00:45:16,420 --> 00:45:17,860 come and have a drink. 667 00:45:32,725 --> 00:45:34,805 (SIGHS) 668 00:45:40,439 --> 00:45:42,280 - Alright, Sug? - Alright, Vin. 669 00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:43,336 Is Erin in? 670 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,680 - I've no idea. - Is she not in. No? 671 00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:49,320 - I've only just got up. - Erin? 672 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,400 Er-Erin? 673 00:45:57,420 --> 00:46:01,159 Ty... Tyler... What's going on? 674 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,540 - Fuck! - Oh, my God. 675 00:46:04,740 --> 00:46:06,229 She's gone. 676 00:46:06,253 --> 00:46:08,840 - What? - She's fucking gone. She's gone. 677 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,600 (SOBBING) 678 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,680 ERIN: 'My darling Vinnie, you are the dad to our beautiful son 679 00:47:00,020 --> 00:47:02,060 and an amazing friend. 680 00:47:03,140 --> 00:47:04,700 But I am scared, 681 00:47:05,369 --> 00:47:07,080 so I have to go. 682 00:47:08,102 --> 00:47:11,903 I need a fresh start somewhere that I know he is safe. 683 00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:14,900 I'm so sorry. 684 00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,120 I will miss you forever. 685 00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:20,540 And I hope you can forgive me.' 686 00:47:21,740 --> 00:47:25,400 (WHISPERS) 34% was always enough. 687 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:43,280 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 688 00:47:43,304 --> 00:47:46,804 Sub extracted and improved by Se7enOfNin9 for addic7ed.com